Testosterone

I recently found out that the medication I use to help me manage my blood sugar has a tendency to lower testosterone levels. For a while, I’d been experiencing low energy, a decrease in my sexual desire, and feeling less focused, but those are all so nebulous that I hadn’t connected them until I participated […]

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Something I Want Men To Know Before Flirting With Women

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There’s been an important shift in several different communities and scenes lately. In the kink world, in atheism circles, among feminist folks and their allies, in pagan communities, I’ve been seeing more people than ever before talking about the effects of sexual coercion, assault, harassment, unwanted attention, and other related topics. Of course, none of […]

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“Is BDSM Feminist?” is the Wrong Question to Ask

I’ve been having conversations about the meaning of BDSM for a long, long time. Part of that is that I’ve been doing various things that generally fall in the kink category since I was about 19. Part of that is that sex educators have these sorts of talks with a lot of different people. Part […]

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The World Will Be A Better Place When More Men Take It Up The Ass

There are lots of things we can do to make the world a better place. We can reduce our consumption of irreplaceable resources, we can develop our capacity to bring compassion to our relationships, we can support people in crisis or need- there’s plenty to be done. And there’s one thing that I think has […]

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Jim Brown’s Sex Life Is A Red Herring

Some new headlines about the Robert Pickton case are making the rounds. It seems that Jim Brown, one of the police officers involved in the investigation of the serial killer, had some photos on Fetlife, a social network for the BDSM world. The images of him holding a leash that’s connected to a collared woman […]

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An Open Letter to Men’s Rights Activists

To the men’s right’s activists of the world: I see how much anger you have towards women. I see your frustration and your pain. I don’t know what is at the root of your anger and your hurt. I’m confident that there are lots of different ones. Whether it was a single event or it […]

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Sexual Harassment, Unwanted Sexual Attention, Cruising, Flirting

There’s been some really good discussion lately about sexual harassment at conferences and community events. I’ve mostly been tracking it via Greta Christina’s blog, though of course there are lots of other people talking about it. I’m really glad to see more conversation about what kinds of behaviors different communities consider acceptable, how to make […]

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