What’s Behind Sexual Harassment?

Here’s a question I got over email: I am trying to understand the psychology of male arousal i.e what causes a man to get aroused at the sight of a fully dressed woman. The reason for this question is because I repeatedly encounter this issue in the workplace which I would like your insights on.  […]

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Rentboy.com, Sexism, and “End Demand”

Have you been following the news about the raid on the Rentboy.com offices? Rentboy was a website designed to connect trans and cisgender male escorts with clients. Two days ago, police arrested the CEO and six staffers, charging them with promoting prostitution. When we compare the way that Rentboy is being talked about compared to […]

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I Refuse To Be One Of “The Good Men”

In all of the recent conversations about male privilege, violence against women, and misogyny, there’s been a lot of debate about “not all men.” When guys are confronted with the many ways in which men hurt, harass, and abuse women, it’s a pretty common response for us to say, “I’m not like that.” Many of […]

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“How do you identify?” That’s often a tough question for me to answer. As a general rule, I’ve shifted away from identifying as anything because I’ve found that when I do, it can be hard to let go of that self-identity when things change. In my experience, life brings lots of surprises that are difficult […]

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Waxing Sensual

I got my legs waxed last week. I did it to surprise a lover because I knew they would like it. What I didn’t know was how amazing it would feel. I’d never removed my leg hair before and it’s been decades since it started growing. I remember being in my teens and seeing it […]

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Why Men Need to Learn How to Not Be “That Guy”

Melissa McEwan over at Shakesville wrote a piece today about why she thinks that straight men shouldn’t write articles or blogs telling other men how to not be creepy. She makes some good points, though I think she also misses some key points. Her first argument is that when men talk about creepiness, they tend […]

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My Introduction To Rape Culture

I remember exactly when I first understood what “rape culture” meant. I was nineteen and a sophomore in college. I was talking with a woman I knew about gender and sexual politics, and I just wasn’t getting it. She was describing what it was like for her to move through the world as a woman, […]

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