Help! My Boyfriend Keeps Groping Me!
Here’s a question that showed up in my in box that I think will resonate with many of you: I have been dating my boyfriend for six months. I like him a lot. He likes to touch my breasts a lot, including when we’re not having sex or during foreplay — just casually, because he […]
What Affirmative Consent Looks Like
It’s been really excited to see the progress of California Senate Bill 967. If it gets signed, it will require all universities that receive financial aid to use a standard of “affirmative consent” in disciplinary hearings about sexual assault. In a nutshell, it shifts things from “did anyone say no?” to “did everyone say yes?” […]
When Good Intentions Meet Bad Behavior
I recently posted Learning to Ask on Fetlife (one of the most widely-used social networking sites for the S&M scene), and it quickly received a lot of comments. Many of the folks who responded shared that they face a lot of challenges with asking for what they want, or that it took them plenty of […]
Learning To Ask
Do you ever have difficulty asking for what you want? I used to, and it’s taken a lot of practice to be able to change that. On a recent trip, I had a great reminder of how important it is to be able to build that skill. When I got to the gate for my […]Read More
What Does “Sexual Success” Mean?
Have you ever stopped and asked yourself what a successful sexual experience is? It’s an important question because how you answer it says a lot about your attitudes and beliefs about sex. And that has a big impact on the kinds of experiences you’re creating and the sexual relationships you build. One of the more […]
The Importance of Microacceptance
I was recently in a conversation about microagressions and the impact they have on sexuality. When I think of microagressions, I think of someone getting poked in the same spot over and over. Each one doesn’t seem like much, but they add up to cause a deep bruise and a flinch reaction. While there’s no […]
Unpaid Emotional Labor
The amazing Alex Morgan posted this on Facebook today: Post by Alex S. Morgan. I don’t think there’s any doubt that had this driver’s passenger been a cisgender man, he’d never have dared to pull something like that. But there’s more to this that needs to be unpacked. It’s disturbingly common for men try to […]