I’m fascinated by the ways in which guilt and shame play out in our lives, especially our sexual lives. I don’t think there’s a sex educator out there who hasn’t had someone come to them with these feelings and, unfortunately, most of us don’t have much of an understanding of how these emotions work. It’s […]

One of the issues that comes up over and over again when it comes to sex and relationships is that we need to take some chances if we want to grow, learn and change. That’s a rather trite cliche, but I’ve noticed that lots of people are afraid of taking chances when it comes to […]

Every so often, when talking with a customer about the DVDs, I’ll get this question: “do you have anything with women with real bodies?” And I have to say that it kind of yanks my chain. Ren has an interesting post on this at Feministe, which is what sparked this for me today. First off, […]

My latest article “The Case for Kink” just got posted on Carnal Nation. Here’s the opening, but you’ll have to go to the site for the rest of it (the link is below). One of the criticisms that gets leveled at BDSM players is the claim that BDSM is violence and that it reinforces social […]

The Canadian media is buzzing about a new bit of research by sex therapist and University of Ottawa psychologist Peggy Kleinplatz on what makes sex great. According to the article “The Components Of Optimal Sexuality: A Portrait Of Great Sex,” which was published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, the key ingredients to great […]

I just ran across a blog about “Why Sex-Positivity is Bad for Feminism” and I’m astounded. Here’s my favorite snippet: Of course, there are a lot of feminist issues involved in the porn industry, sex work, and in human sexuality; I just don’t think “sex positivity” is one of them. So you’re a feminist, and […]

Whenever a conversation/discussion/debate about sexual practices comes up, it’s quite common for someone to suggest that people who engage in certain activities should examine where their desires come from. Most often, I see this happen in debates around BDSM, open relationships and sex work. For example in this recent thread on Feministing, a conversation about […]