on taking chances

One of the issues that comes up over and over again when it comes to sex and relationships is that we need to take some chances if we want to grow, learn and change. That’s a rather trite cliche, but I’ve noticed that lots of people are afraid of taking chances when it comes to exploring¬† sex.

I think there are lots of reasons for that. Messages about what defines acceptable sexuality surround us and the possibility of stepping outside those limits can be scary. Internalized judgments about “those people” who like that activity can keep us from trying something because we might like it and that would mean that we’re part of “those people.” Fear of rejection or worries about how a partner might react to something new can hold us back. Not having support or role models to help us deal with the fear and uncertainty that can come up usually makes it harder. We each have our barriers around trying something new or discovering our sexual authenticity.

While this video isn’t about sex per se, I think it says something truly powerful about risk, failure and ultimate success. So take a look and think about how the message might apply to your sex life and your personal relationships.

One Response so far.

  1. polycurious says:

    Thank you:

    This was a really good read for me especially at this point in my life and this week. I always go through this very depressive state when I am facing lunar changes. But in the past year I have had to take many risks with my children as we faced homelessness, the criminalization of this condition and the awful shelters where we stayed and experienced serious abuse. I also am going through serious crisis of loneliness and a deep pain regarding my sexuality. I am so deeply in love with this couple. I told them my feelings a few years ago but they obviously don’t feel the same way even though I feel that they are somewhat flirtatious with me.
    I have felt very suicidal about my homelessness, about being a very single mother of 4 children, with a lifestyle that is not accepted by the mainstream. I am extremely lonely and I feel like a failure. I went to grad school but I have yet to reap any benefits. I know what I want to do but I have no resources to support that desire. Mostly, I really wanted to be in a loving closed Vee relationship with that couple because I felt that it would provide me with the support that I need to do what I love and for me and my children to thrive.

    At this point I feel that everyday could be the last day with my children because I cannot comply with the system, I feel depressed about my broken heart. I am utterly humiliated, I was honest about my feelings and I was brutally turned down in a nasty way too. And I blame it on the fact that I have no money and no fame.

    So thanks for reminding me and others that failure can a learning opportunity too. For instance, what if Abe Lincoln had stopped trying at politics, would he have been killed? So, I don’t regret what I haven’t gotten but I missed what I dream for and I continue to fantasize about what I cannot get.
    A million thanks.

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