I recently posted Learning to Ask on Fetlife (one of the most widely-used social networking sites for the S&M scene), and it quickly received a lot of comments. Many of the folks who responded shared that they face a lot of challenges with asking for what they want, or that it took them plenty of […]

I’ve been leaning into some edges lately and learning how to ask people for help. Specifically, asking people I don’t know well for things has been a difficult thing for me. It’s been coming up since I’ve been on tour for The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure because I’ve asked a few people I didn’t […]

I’ve been studying, talking about, and teaching workshops about shame for several years and one of the issues that comes up over and over is whether shame is always bad or not. I’ve been looking for ways to talk about this, since I think that shame does serve some purposes and can help us grow […]