Last month, I finally got to meet Sinclair Sexsmith in person, after months of emails and tweets. We were both presenting at the Talking About the Taboo Conference, hosted by the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health and it was a real treat to get to geek out with Sinclair and other sex education folks.
Sinclair sat in on my presentation on sex-positivity and sexual authenticity and I’m deeply flattered to read her reflections and responses to what I said. Here’s a snippet:
Everything and anything can be sex positive. Sex positivity is about a state of mind, not what you do in bed—a fundamental acceptance of what other people do, even if it isn’t for you, without an extra scoop of judgment on top. What works for you might not work for someone else. We have accepted that in many arenas—like pizza toppings, or types of drinks—but it seems for sex, we have a harder time understanding that others might have differing preferences than our own.
It takes bravery to accept what others do. It takes self-awareness to know our own preferences and hold our own boundaries. It takes compassion and empathy to understand that what others do may be different than what we do, but that there is nothing wrong with either choice: they are just different, not weird or wrong.
“Sex positivity is a path of courage,” Glickman said. And I have to agree.
Take a look at the rest of the piece, and while you’re at it, give Sinclair’s blog a read. It’s one I follow regularly and if you’re interested in sexuality, gender, and/or smart writing, I think you’ll enjoy it.