Is The BDSM Community Really Non-Judgmental?
Yesterday, Jezebel posted an article about a woman whose post on Fetlife (a social networking site for the BDSM world) about an experience of sexual assault resulted in the usual slut-shaming and victim-blaming. It’s worth checking out, and if you’re on Fetlife, take a look at the original post. The Jez piece ends: Dayna’s experience […]
What Does Pushing Boundaries in BDSM Mean?
In some of the (mostly online) discussions I’ve seen around BDSM & kink, there’s a sticking point that seems to come up over and over. What does it mean when people say that they get turned on by “pushing boundaries”? I think this is worth unpacking because there are at least two different meanings to […]
“Is BDSM Feminist?” is the Wrong Question to Ask
I’ve been having conversations about the meaning of BDSM for a long, long time. Part of that is that I’ve been doing various things that generally fall in the kink category since I was about 19. Part of that is that sex educators have these sorts of talks with a lot of different people. Part […]
Jim Brown’s Sex Life Is A Red Herring
Some new headlines about the Robert Pickton case are making the rounds. It seems that Jim Brown, one of the police officers involved in the investigation of the serial killer, had some photos on Fetlife, a social network for the BDSM world. The images of him holding a leash that’s connected to a collared woman […]
Vanilla Can Be Delicious
I recently found myself in yet another conversation with a longtime kinky player who made a disparaging comment about vanilla sex. If you’re not familiar with the term, it pretty much means anything sexual that isn’t BDSM, and it’s often used dismissively, as if sex that doesn’t include leather, whips, or pain is boring. Although […]
The S&M Feminist: A Book Review
It’s hard to find good writing about kink. Let me rephrase- it’s easy to find plenty of folks who write about how to do BDSM play, and many of them know what they’re talking about and can explain it well. There are also quite a few bloggers who share their personal stories and experiences of […]
Scholarship For Research About The Leather/Kink Community
Do you want to do research or journalism about the kink/leather/BDSM community? The Leather Archives & Museum in Chicago is an amazing resource and it has extensive collections. Of course, it’s often difficult to get there, especially when you’re a grad student or freelance writer. So I was really happy to see that there’s a […]