The ever-fabulous Becca got in touch with me recently and asked if I knew of a word for the receiving penetrative sex that’s more active. After all, you can be the one who gets penetrated and be the active one. Heck, you can even be the dominant one and be penetrated. But most of our language rests on the assumption that penetration = active and being penetrated = passive.
I’ve heard a few people use the word “engulf”, although I don’t think that really captures the essence of what Becca & I were talking about. So imagine how happy I was when she emailed me and suggested a new word: valprehend.
According to Becca, if you break it down to its roots, val means strong and prehend means grasp or seize. So to valprehend someone is to grasp them strongly or firmly. And that’s a great word for what we were talking about. It’s a very active term and it conjugates nicely:
After lots of warm up, she anally valprehended her lover.
Valprehensive sex is one of my favorites.
My boyfriend enjoys it when I valprehend him
In any of these examples, you could easily substitute an equivalent form of the verb to penetrate, so there’s a linguistic consistency. It’s also a new word, so there aren’t any other connotations to overcome. And it gives us one more way to shift away from the idea that being penetrated is passive.
Pass it on. Let’s see if we can get it in the Oxford English Dictionary. And follow Becca’s blog. She’s groovy.