Shaming Boys and Coddling Men

I recently discovered a post that Yahsar All wrote last year about the ways in which men are often coddled around their emotions by the women in their lives. Rather than expecting guys to speak up about their feelings, to apologize when they need to, to express their needs and desires, many women will say […]

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When Men Say No To Sex

I recently got a text from a guy I know about a challenge he’s facing: How do you deal with turning down a woman you’re not interested in sex with? At first, this might seem like the answer is obvious. Just say no, right? But there’s a lot more to it than that and it’s […]

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Dealing With Rejection

I recently received this email about dealing with rejection. Since this is a common experience, the sender gave me permission to post this. I was wondering what your thoughts were on rejection. Not unavailability being mistaken for rejection, but actual rejection. While you can obviously chalk up some rejection to unavailability, there are often times […]

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“I’m Having A Shame Reaction”

There have been a lot of changes in my life lately. Ever since I left Good Vibrations, I’ve been leaning into some pretty intense edges and figuring out how to make some things happen that I’ve wanted to be able to do for a while. It’s been fascinating and fun, and just scary enough to […]

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Opening to Love

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When Alfred Kinsey first published his groundbreaking book Sexual Behavior in the Human Male (also known as the Kinsey Report, along with the sequel Sexual Behavior in the Human Female), one of the complaints that was leveled at him is that he never mentioned or discussed the experiences of love among his interviewees. Given that […]

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Sometimes, The Second Taste Is Better

Have you ever tasted something and needed a second taste to decide if you liked it or not? I was recently out at a restaurant with a friend and we traded tastes of our food. While the initial sample of their entree was ok, I could tell that I needed a second taste to decide […]

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Being Poly Doesn’t Make You More Evolved

This post first appeared on Sinclair Sexsmith’s blog. Sinclair has been interviewing different folks about their experiences with polyamory and open relationships. The series is definitely worth checking out. 1. What insight about polyamory/open relationships would you share with your younger self? My partner and I have been together for over 20 years and we’ve […]

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